A great storm was called up by the face of darkness himself: the Evil Overlord. The storm drove such strong winds into the village that it destroyed all the shops including the Black Hoof Tavern, Zaroth’s Magic Emporium, Derek’s Diamond Dealing, and Shady Deals. Lacking the materials necessary to rebuild such unusually magically powerful shops, the human-phoenix-dragon amalgam Ace, the magician and proprietor Zaroth, and a very small but brave knight set out to visit the distant lands of Omoc to obtain the Unbreakable Binding of the Duck.
Along the way, they crossed the Fields of Fatality which lie before the Obliteration Orchards where they were attacked by 1006 of the undead. They battled skillfully but were overwhelmed by sheer numbers. Just when they were about to give up hope of ever seeing their beloved Dragonwood again, the infamous snake-hybrid mercenary Rokh appeared on the scene. Fortunately, Zaroth is a skilled proprietor and thus his pockets are full of dragon scales, the common currency of all realms. He was able to quickly secure the services of Rokh.
Still the soulless undead came, arising from the ground about their feet. As they were being thoroughly trounced, an enraged orc charged onto the scene, scattering undead body parts hither and yon throughout the Fields of Fatality. Yes, it was Eowok, Destroyer of Zombies. Though not particularly fond of human-phoenix-dragon amalgams, magicians, knights, or snake-hybrids, Eowok’s displeasure with the undead was so great that he vigorously fought by their sides, efficiently dispatching zombies with such gusto that they were soon defeated.
Having vanquished their fiendish foes, the friends (for they were now all friends as fighting foes forges friendships firmly) were resting upon the Fields of Fatality when over the hill came FBI Agent Grinnan, back from the future and in the company of a black elf, a Plutonian princess, and Luna of the Moon. Delighted to see their old and new friends, the group traveled back to the village, forgetting all about the Unbreakable Binding of the Duck. Realizing their mistake, they set out again across the Fields of Fatality.
Unfortunately, the group accidentally set off an ancient portal with strange writings. Rokh recognized the script but all he could decipher was something about death and barbecue sauce. Realizing the danger, the group ran, and the portal exploded behind them into a fiery ball of death, destruction and barbecue sauce.
The only safe haven was the Diamond Temple, but first they had to cross the Bridge of Bravery. While the others struggled across, Ace flew down to the bottom of the Temple and climbed inside from a secondary entrance in the lower depths. There he climbed up to the lookout post where he rejoined his friends.
Grinnan revealed that his research into paranormal sword fighting is just a cover story. In truth, he is seeking a Time Thief. Someone has been bringing technology from the future into the past where it is improved upon. This causes the original technology in the future to become even more advanced. The Time Thief then brings the more advanced technology back and restarts the process of accelerated development. Grinnan believes one of the paranormal swordfighters is the Time Thief, but the adventurers themselves have their own theory: they believe it is a future Grinnan who is the Thief himself.
Eowok the Orc noticed some zombies were wandering around outside the Temple. Luna and the Black Elf went to investigate. Sadly, they returned shortly as ZOMBIES! The remaining heroes quickly scattered. Ace climbed to the top of the Temple, because zombies can’t climb. Boy, was he wrong about that. It did not take long before he had been turned into a zombie himself and had also lost a shoe. The loss of the shoe was, of course, due to the Zombie Code of Conduct which requires that at least one article of clothing be lost. The clever Rokh shot Zombie Ace with one of his poison dart, killing him, so that Ace’s phoenix abilities could regenerate him. Unfortunately, Ace was quickly recaptured and turned again into a zombie. He lost the other shoe. Soon, the entire troop was zombified. All would have been lost had they not been inside the Diamond Temple for the Temple Dogs will not tolerate the undead and the curse was soon lifted.
Zaroth decided to cheer everyone up and repay the kindness of the Temple Dogs by hosting a talent show. And that is where our story ends because Ace fell asleep in the audience and has no idea what happened during the show.