Both Zane and the Alien volunteered to be the current week’s storyteller. A brutal rock-paper-scissors battle commenced to to choose between the competing storytellers. There was initial confusion over the start, but it was decided that the count would be “Rock, paper, scissors, shoot” with the warriors choice made on “shoot.” While the initial agreement was best-two-out-of three, the battle went into sudden-death overtime and was finally settled in Zane’s favor with three-out-of-five wins.
Our next challenger for the honor of Storyteller for the following week were the Alien and Ivan Exarch. That was won handily by Ivan Exarch with two out of three wins.
The council then turned its attention to the valiant gathering. In attendance in that most honored hall were
- Victor, a raccoon that can fly but likes candy too
- Layla, a knight and a ninja, who sometimes confuses which is which.
- Popcorn, a stealthy bunny who can fit into small spaces and pop out unexpectedly but who is, obviously, driven insane by bad country rap music.
- Ivan Exarch, a rock star magician with a guitar battle ax. His enchanted music can hypnotize people, but he will flee when confronted with horrible music, such as bad country rap.
- Alien, the leader of the 8th army of the 7 aliens races and colonies (a federation whose name he has forgotten). He is an engineer who likes marbles at which he is really good so good that it makes people’s minds explode. Unfortunately, DC current is fatal to him.
- An unknown being, possibly a wisp.
- Samuel Traveleer Vortalinpolance, a grand master wizard from another world who’s come to Dragonwood to observe. He can do pretty much what he wants, but he’s stored his magic in a crystal that he keeps on his person at all times, and he can’t really influence the life stories of the other adventurers all that much.
- Steve Jobs who find strength in apples and his gobs of money, but is deeply disturbed by the low quality of goods found at Home Depot.
- Lightning is a half-dragon/half-hum with lots of powers and weaknesses. He is a skilled fighter and spell caster especially when faced with apple power, but he is vulnerable to falling, water and explosions.
- Mr. Happy can control water and solve a Rubik’s cube but doesn’t have a sword.
- Gradivas is a Titan and Lord Maul’s right-hand man, expect sort of not. He’s been highly augmented to do grievous hurt in battle but his sub-dermal armor back plates will separate when to reveal gaps — so be sure to stab him in the back. He has a mass driver and a vortex shield that deflects projectiles, returning them to their source with the average force of those fired into it.
- Spike is a demon cat with a weakness for pizza and yarn. He can walk through fire, and sometimes it will give him more strength.
- Ace is a ¼ dragon, ¼ phoenix, and ½ human hybrid who is 10 feet tall but can shrink down to 6 feet, 5 inches using his powerful magic. He is immune to fire and heat but water and cold can hurt him. His great24-grandfather, Death, has a nasty habit of possessing him.
- Zane is a field medic with healing powers. He has a fondness for butterfly knives which he tends to cut himself with. All are advised to avoid shooting the medic.
- A human with bullet-proof armor and the ability to teleport and respawn. Unfortunately his armor doesn’t cover his entire body.
- Augustus Finch the 31st of Fictionstein in China, an American who good aim and an extensive arsenal of guns. He can medically revive others, but is very short.
- Doctor Scientist is a very smart human who arrived late because he found a journal which he had to study. More about that to be revealed later. (Does it contain the clues needed to defeat Lord Maul?)
Storyteller Zane speaks:
The group set out to rescue someone from prison. Someone from the Resistance: Ivan Exarch. Ivan has information about taking out Lord Maul’s corporation. Augustus Finch the 31st of Fictionstein in China is working for Lord Maul, so the good guys took Victor Raccoon hostage and sacrificed a goat. There was a helicopter, but no one saw it.
Ivan Exarch was able to escape easily and frequently as his jailer and guard Spike was a traitor to the true cause of Maul shopping. There was a huge battle between Maul’s evil army and the Resistance. Doctor Scientist watched a teammate die slowly, taking notes for a future paper. Publish or perish! No one won because both sides retreated. However, Steve Jobs, Ace and Gravidas saved the day and forced the Resistance to retreat, utterly destroying them. The Resistance issued a press release praising their decision to withdraw as they had achieved a total victory.