Author: Séa

A great storm was called up by the face of darkness himself: the Evil Overlord. The storm drove such strong winds into the village that it destroyed all the shops including the Black Hoof Tavern, Zaroth’s Magic Emporium, Derek’s Diamond Dealing, and Shady Deals. Lacking the materials necessary to rebuild such unusually magically powerful shops, the human-phoenix-dragon amalgam Ace, the magician and proprietor Zaroth, and a very small but brave knight set out to visit the distant lands of Omoc to obtain the Unbreakable Binding of the Duck.

Along the way, they crossed the Fields of Fatality which lie before the Obliteration Orchards where they were attacked by 1006 of the undead. They battled skillfully but were overwhelmed by sheer numbers. Just when they were about to give up hope of ever seeing their beloved Dragonwood again, the infamous snake-hybrid mercenary Rokh appeared on the scene. Fortunately, Zaroth is a skilled proprietor and thus his pockets are full of dragon scales, the common currency of all realms. He was able to quickly secure the services of Rokh.

Still the soulless undead came, arising from the ground about their feet. As they were being thoroughly trounced, an enraged orc charged onto the scene, scattering undead body parts hither and yon throughout the Fields of Fatality. Yes, it was Eowok, Destroyer of Zombies. Though not particularly fond of human-phoenix-dragon amalgams, magicians, knights, or snake-hybrids, Eowok’s displeasure with the undead was so great that he vigorously fought by their sides, efficiently dispatching zombies with such gusto that they were soon defeated.

Having vanquished their fiendish foes, the friends (for they were now all friends as fighting foes forges friendships firmly) were resting upon the Fields of Fatality when over the hill came FBI Agent Grinnan, back from the future and in the company of a black elf, a Plutonian princess, and Luna of the Moon. Delighted to see their old and new friends, the group traveled back to the village, forgetting all about the Unbreakable Binding of the Duck. Realizing their mistake, they set out again across the Fields of Fatality.

Unfortunately, the group accidentally set off an ancient portal with strange writings. Rokh recognized the script but all he could decipher was something about death and barbecue sauce. Realizing the danger, the group ran, and the portal exploded behind them into a fiery ball of death, destruction and barbecue sauce.

The only safe haven was the Diamond Temple, but first they had to cross the Bridge of Bravery. While the others struggled across, Ace flew down to the bottom of the Temple and climbed inside from a secondary entrance in the lower depths. There he climbed up to the lookout post where he rejoined his friends.

Grinnan revealed that his research into paranormal sword fighting is just a cover story. In truth, he is seeking a Time Thief. Someone has been bringing technology from the future into the past where it is improved upon. This causes the original technology in the future to become even more advanced. The Time Thief then brings the more advanced technology back and restarts the process of accelerated development. Grinnan believes one of the paranormal swordfighters is the Time Thief, but the adventurers themselves have their own theory: they believe it is a future Grinnan who is the Thief himself.

Eowok the Orc noticed some zombies were wandering around outside the Temple. Luna and the Black Elf went to investigate. Sadly, they returned shortly as ZOMBIES! The remaining heroes quickly scattered. Ace climbed to the top of the Temple, because zombies can’t climb. Boy, was he wrong about that. It did not take long before he had been turned into a zombie himself and had also lost a shoe. The loss of the shoe was, of course, due to the Zombie Code of Conduct which requires that at least one article of clothing be lost. The clever Rokh shot Zombie Ace with one of his poison dart, killing him, so that Ace’s phoenix abilities could regenerate him. Unfortunately, Ace was quickly recaptured and turned again into a zombie. He lost the other shoe. Soon, the entire troop was zombified. All would have been lost had they not been inside the Diamond Temple for the Temple Dogs will not tolerate the undead and the curse was soon lifted.

Zaroth decided to cheer everyone up and repay the kindness of the Temple Dogs by hosting a talent show. And that is where our story ends because Ace fell asleep in the audience and has no idea what happened during the show.

Guest scribe!

A strange knight by the name of Mr. C appeared in the Mississippi Park clearing. Expecting to find a group of fellow travelers, he instead discovered the gathering place empty. After exploring the abandoned structures with his loyal servant Cecil, he began to fear the place was under the dreaded curse of “Miscommunication and Mayhem” evidenced by the echoes of possible connections missed. Feeling that dark magic may be at work and sensing the “Mists of Boredom” advancing, the explorers retreated from the area to plan their next adventure. Indeed, shortly after they left, rumors were heard of a second traveler experiencing the same curse. Hoping for a future, curse free meet up, Mr. C and Cecil returned to their home castle to prepare for the next adventure.

A Silver Elf from the Silver Woods received an unexpected visit from his friend, the Black Elf from the Black Woods. They were both excellent sword fighters, and the Black Elf had come to recruit his friend for a quest to the mystical Silver Isle. Also on this quest was Electra, the shapeshifting daughter of Martin the Martian, who was joined by a cat-human hybrid with retracting claws and a weakness for red laser dots as well as a lunar princess from the year 3500 — the same year as that meddlesome FBI Agent, Grinnan, who had returned to the present day for further research into the paranormal. Also joining the quest was Gronk the Gnome, Ace the human-dragon-phoenix cross, and a very small but powerful and dangerous knight.

Just as a very large troll attacked, a strange and mysterious being who could almost be described as an angel appeared. Those who chose to follow this angelic creature fled to the west while the rest fled to the east. The separated bands began to quarrel over trifles, and soon they met in battle. Grinnan and Gronk were both killed in the fighting and were reduced to the status of ghosts that haunted the mystical isle.

The war raged on until the mysterious being was suddenly called home. Once he had exited the battlefield, the remaining adventurers could not recall why they were quarreling, so they packed up their belongings and trudged back to their own homes.

It started off like any other day. Ace, Lydia, The Nameless, thief and rogue Theo Grim, Leo the Barkeep, Leahcim, The Solider, and The Elf gathered upon the grassy knoll to make their plans to seek out a magic portal to their forest hideaway.

They set out upon the path, accompanied by the pirate Vanessa Lockwood, daughter of Captain Hook and granddaughter (on her mother’s side) of Blackbeard, who was walking through the forest listening to mystical music. As the group neared the Spine of the World, the music became a scream and an iron snake crept up upon them and the group was torn apart in the ensuing confusion. Some fled past the Spine into the forests of Dragonwood while others turned back and sought out the portal beneath the Spine. After passing through the mystical portal, they were soon reunited with their comrades at the safety of their forest hideaway and took solace at the Black Hoof Tavern.

Grinan, an FBI agent from the future, had followed the adventurers into the forest, investigating reports of forest-based sword fighting that needed to be documented. His observations soon revealed that the sword fighters were paranormal with powers he hadn’t seen in anyone else before. He continued to spy as more study was needed.

Among those being studied was The Titan and his terrifying Earthshatter! The gates of Tartarus weaken every thousand years and are especially weak every million years, and so The Titan had managed to sneak out and had decided to join the adventurers on their quest.

Unaware of Grinan’s observation, Leo the Barkeep, was attending, as usual, at the Black Hoof Tavern, when it became apparent that The Nameless had been possessed by an evil spirit who quickly used his powers to seal the gateway into the forest hideaway and trap his former companions within their hidden sanctuary.

But then, a heat wisp took hold of The Nameless, confusing his mind and driving him from the forest where he wandered the paths unknowing and unseeing. Fortunately, this released the demon’s trap on the forest hideaway, and his friends and fellow heroes, frightened for his safety, quickly assembled a rescue party and headed out to find him, leaving The Titan and Leo the Barkeep behind in case he returned.

Three meddlesome travelers then broke into the sanctuary and captured The Titan and Leo. They were marching them back to Mortal’s End when the iron snake screamed again. In the confusion, The Titan and Leo escaped down Mud Hill, separating at the fork in the road to confuse their pursuers. Now alone in the woods, Leo foraged on, searching for The Nameless, unaware that The Titan and his captors were searching frantically for him back at Mud Hill. Leo eventually bumped into the Wise Woman of the Woods who accompanied him back to the Hopping Horse and his companions.

In the meantime, The Nameless had been found sitting quietly in the shade near Pigpimples Institute of Magic and Mayhem, now free of all demonic possession. Before the heroes could relax, Ace’s grimoire shrieked in alarm, alerting them to the plight of Leo. Before they had a chance to organize a new search party, the grimoire shrieked again, announcing that the Wise Woman of the Woods had recovered Leo and was bringing him to the grassy knoll.  

The weary band then went to the Hopping Horse for a refreshing meal and then they held another tournament upon the Field of Reckoning where many limbs were severed and many heads rolled.

The adventures undertook the rebuilding of their forest hideaway in Upper Dragonwood. An army of orcs had ransacked this hidden sanctuary, smashing the fortress with their gnarly clubs as well as ripping up the trees along the forest road to the hideaway.

Orcs are inherently evil and destructive and need no more reason than that to attack, but in this case there was another reason: The Black Hand had commanded them to attack and destroy the adventurers’ home because The Black Hand was seeking the valuable Cache of Geon for its gold and other treasures. Thankfully, despite the destruction, the Cache of Geon was found to be safe in its hidden alcove. Will The Black Hand return? Stay tuned for future LARPs!

On a brighter note, the Black Hoof Tavern opened during the re-build.

Exhausted by their labors, the adventurers retired for refreshments to the Hopping Horse in Middle Dragonwood. There, a very nosy person asked a lot of questions.

Feeling revived by the good food and the good company, the adventurers held a tournament in the Field of Reckoning, conveniently located just outside of the Hopping Horse. Sir Bradley dominated the tournament and won handily. Several contestants were seriously wounded, including 1 severed finger, 12 severed legs, 4 severed arms, and 2 rolling heads.

The Council of Adventurers has agreed to a revised rule regarding weaponry: All edges for weapons used in battle must now be made of foam. Thrown weapons must have all exposed edges and surfaces covered in foam. Nerf long-range weapons are allowed, except for Nerf Rival. Warriors are reminded to pay attention to avoiding the illegal targets, including heads. All warriors are asked to check their weapons for rough spots before battle. Non-foam weapons may be used as costuming but not for battles.

The adventurers called a council gathering to review their various strengths and weaknesses and discuss the challenge facing them that day. An evil dragon had been able to enter our relatively safe and dragon-free world due to the careless mistake of a phoenix who had accidentally shattered the timeline, opening portals between the dimensions. The phoenix had been grounded for her error and charged with protecting the timeline for the next hundred years, but it was up to the intrepid adventurers to find the dragon lord and dispatch him — either back to his home dimension or to a local grave.

Unfortunately, on their way to the dragon’s lair, they became hopelessly lost in the woods. Some treacherous magic had confused their sight and obscured the path. By happy chance, the sound of approaching (but fortunately noisy) bandits alerted the adventurers to their magical confusion and lifted the spell. They had to backtrack through the woods and discovered they had walked right by the dragon’s hideaway.

There, they attacked! However, they were ill-prepared and almost all of the adventurers were possessed by an evil spirit in league with the dragon. Sadly, one adventurer was killed because his body could not be possessed, and the faithful band hopes to find the means to revive him within the week or he may be forever lost! Of the remaining non-possessed adventurers, one managed to place a binding spell upon the dragon lord, allowing the others to strike multiple times, eventually bleeding the life force from the mighty beast. When the dragon was slain, the possessing spirit slowly slid out of our world and back into its own.

Exhausted by the battle, the adventurers had an early lunch at the local inn, the Hopping Horse, before some combat training with long range weaponry.

Out on a lovely stroll through the estate of Tony, a bitter feud broke between two adventurers that soon divided the house of Tony into two warring factions … and one bounty hunter.

Needing to find a safe haven, one group fled to what appeared to be the safety of a distant castle — but it was really the domain of a deadly wraith! Fortunately, the wraith declared his presence and the certain doom of any who entered there, so the homeless wanderers found shelter in the castle’s stable house. Meanwhile, the others had fled into the forest and built a shelter amongst the trees.

Whilst the stable dwellers made plans for defenses, the foresters were already approaching. A rush attack almost destroyed the stable dwellers, but they valiantly drove back the invaders, and then hurriedly made plans for their own assault upon the villainous forest dwellers — but another rash assault by the foresters interrupted their planning.

The stable defenders drove their attackers out again and once more resumed planning and then enacted their devious plan for revenge. Unfortunately, despite the careful and creative planning, the attack failed and they were driven back to the stable where the wraith taunted them from the castle ramparts.

The stable dwellers now decided to sneak out the back entrance of the stable and leave a fire rune in the center of the building which would create a massive fireball that destroyed anyone who stepped inside. They circled around to the forest home, only to discover that the foresters had been following them since they exited from the back door of the stable! A great battle ensued! Two of the stable dwellers switched weapons which confused the enemy and allowed the stable dwellers to escape … only to be shot down while fleeing.

By this time, everyone was famished. Weak with hunger, they called a temporary truce and broke bread together. Feeling much more reasonable on their full stomachs, they decided to settle their difference with a friendly game of tag … until they were driven from their picnic grounds by notorious bandits, The Yellow Jackets.

The LARP returned to the mystical island hidden within the forest of Silverwood. There the adventurers were confronted by a possessed doll sent by Hades to claim five souls. Despite their valiant teamwork, the doll succeeded in collecting its debt.

Then Death showed up. Death was not fond of Hades. He tried unsuccessfully to remove the possession from the doll. Then he went to lunch, taking both the living and dead with him. Strangely, the doll disappeared while the adventurers were eating.

Then cheese people invaded. However, they were not very violent. They just sort of milled about, talking to each other, but one died.”

The LARP took an excursion to the mystical island of Silverwood Forest where the group trained with orks, trolls, elves and giant snakes to master the art of magical combat. Through daring and ability, no one was eaten by the carnivorous geese nor drowned by the playful but deadly water nymphs. The adventurous but perhaps foolhardy group returns to the mystical island this week for further training and other scholarly pursuits.