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When Ace returned from enjoying his sandwich, he found the other heroes gathered on the Field of Destiny. He knew instantly that something had happened.

“What happened?” he asked.

The Semi-Tactical Operator stepped forward. “A giant metal dragon attacked. It took all of our ranged weapons, magical and otherwise.”

“But not my grenades,” declared the Assassin proudly.

“Thankfully we still have our swords,” Sage Petunia observed.

And just then Lord Maul’s minions attacked, for it was the dark one who had sent the Metal Dragon. Unprepared for this secondary assault, the adventurers quickly found themselves driven back until they were across the Somber Footbridge and onto the Mystical Isle.

The heroes rallied and swiftly drove off Maul Corp, driving them back across the Footbridge.

Then the Metal Dragon reappeared and destroyed the Footbridge with bolts of lightning, rending both wood and air with electricity and magic.

Now trapped on the Island, the heroes thought they might be able to rest, but as they settled down onto the ground, they jumped up in surprise and anger. But they did not jump far. The blades of grass soared over their heads and a line of terrifying creatures marched towards them.

Lord Maul had miniaturized the adventurers! And he had bewitched a local ant colony who now sent their warriors marching towards the hapless heroes!

Fortunately, Lord Maul has also miniaturized their weapons and while ants may be skilled at battle, tiny adventurers are more skilled. The heroes drove back the ant assault for they knew that if they reached Lifeblood Castle’s outer gates, it’s latent magic would undo Lord Maul’s evil spell and return them to their natural sizes.

One by one, the heroes popped back up to a regular size as they approached the Castle.

But now Ra was angered for he was fond of ants, and he turned his eye upon the heroes. Fearing they might melt under his fearsome glare, they swiftly fashioned canoes from the stores of bark found in the Castle and paddled back to the mainland.

Ra’s eye followed.

The heroes fled up the Shimmering Alley and into the Faraway Leaf Inn where they all quickly rehydrated before they were reduced to sand.

Ra was displeased. Very displeased.

On the Field of Destiny were 4 comrades-in-arms: the super soldier Eden Space, one of Lord Maul’s Assassins, a Semi-Tactical Operator, and a Mercenary. While talking, they discovered they all hailed from the same Village of Cats Haven.

Soon the small band of warriors-for-hire was joined by Meyer Mired, a Jilockian from the planet Zimoth and an agent of Lord Maul. He told them that he had come through the portal to the Realm of the Silver Elves seeking dragons and he was very annoyed! He complained bitterly that he had discovered it was just a tourist trap.

“The dragons are a lie!” he declared loudly. Meyer Mired also shared with the expatriate Villagers some of his butterbeer. Unbeknownst to the Jilockian, the butterbeer had long expired due to the time dilation of his many interdimensional jumps and so it poisoned the minds of the Villagers. Now highly susceptible to suggestion and influenced by the rantings of Meyer Mired, they suddenly screamed in horror and fear!

“Dragons!” shouted Eden Space.

“Run for it!” cried Lord Maul’s Assassin.

“Find cover!” yelled the Semi-Tactical Operator.

“Arm yourselves!” bellowed the Mercenary. And so they all grabbed their blasters and ran.

Meyer Mired watched them flee and thought, “Those Cats Haven Villagers are certainly strange creatures.” He then took his tainted butterbeer and wandered over to a group of Marauders. He promptly offered to share some of his bounty. Just as promptly, he started his lament about the Dragons of Dragonwood. The Dark Knight, the demon-human hybrid Aloysius Trancy, the Birthday Boy, Sage Petunia, Martha McFly, and the Wanderer all listened entranced as the dangerous brew took hold of their minds. When Meyer Mired told them about the Villagers fleeing, the Marauders “knew” immediately what had happened.

“Dragons!” shouted Martha McFly! Which was atypical for her as she is generally friendly with old people and only gets into fistfights with people who call her chicken or applesauce.

“They’ll be eaten for sure!” cried Sage Petunia, a Forest Elf.

“We must find them!” yelled the Birthday Boy.

“And kill them all!” bellowed Aloysius Trancy, feeling extra woozy as he’d only recently been pushed through a portal for being too annoying because he’s just so flamboyant.

Now that last bellow from Aloysius was a bit of an unexpected turn, but no one was thinking clearly at this point, including Meyer Mired who was delighted to “learn” that the dragons were real.

“Arm yourselves!” cried the Dark Knight, thinking to himself that he was glad he has mastered the Crack of Darkness which would allow him to thrust any opponent into a pocket universe for long enough for him to get away.

And so the Marauders all took up their swords, their spears, and their sabers, but left their wits.

“Wait!” roared Sage Petunia. “Someone must guard the Sanctuary!” she said as she looked around at the Field of Destiny as if it was a haven not just for cats but for all creatures who feared dragons (which is not say that cats really fear dragons for cats are known to sometimes be dragons). As a Forest Elf, Sage Petunia had strong magical nature powers and she wondered if she ought to create some plants or maybe call a storm.

“I shall stand guard!” declared the Wanderer, breaking Sage Petunia from her reverie.

“And I shall join you,” said Martha McFly, who wasn’t really interested in confronting a dragon as she was crunchy and feared she might taste good with ketchup.

And so, Aloysius Trancy, Meyer Mired, Sage Petunia, the Dark Knight, and the Birthday Boy set out to hunt down the Villagers, not quite sure if their goal was to kill them all or save them from the dragons.

And so began a merry chase. The Villagers running from the dragons. The Marauders hunting for the Villagers. The dragons slumbering.

Throughout the chase, a Statue appeared here and there. Fortunately, no one died. This may not have been for the best.

In the middle of it all, Sir Wulfric fell out of a portal, followed the Statue for a while, and then joined the Marauders on their merry chase, not really caring that their story made no sense for he simply relished the challenge.

Eden Space and Lord Maul’s Assassin returned to the Field of Destiny hoping to find Sanctuary from the dragon. In their madness, they set upon and killed the Wanderer and Martha McFly.

And the dragons? Well. That is the story. For the Semi-Tactical Operator and the Mercenary went on a reconnaissance mission to see if the Villagers could safely return. While passing too near the Faraway Leaf Inn, they were not as sneaky as they intended to be and thus unintentionally awakened the Great Dragon of the Realm who snatched them up and swallowed them in a single bite — so that their potential crunchiness or the appropriate condiment to use were both irrelevant.

The Great Dragon then lumbered down and ate everyone else without bothering to even bring salt. Meyer Mired experienced an exceedingly brief moment of happiness at having finally seen a real dragon.

And thus ended the adventure.

Gathered on the Field of Destiny were the following heroes:

• 1. Snapple carries a truncheon and can whack you.
  2. King Maximillian is just a human with no special powers and who isn’t even very good with a sword. He wishes to conquer a single galaxy, just one galaxy will be sufficient. The Milky Way is preferred but he will take another galaxy if offered. His boot always falls off, and he carries both a dagger and a sword.
  3. The Demon has possessed a human body for a long time, so long that neither can remember when they became one. The bullets from the Demon’s gun emit an electrical charge which paralyzes the person struck. The Demon looks part-wolf, but she broke her ears so you must imagine them. She is very persuasive.
  4. No One.
  5. Norbeinhind the Unknown.
  6. Sir Bulfrich thinks he may be a human, probably, but he has a bunch of extra health as well as wrist-mounted rocket launchers which carry explosives. He wields a very large greatsword known as Overkill and another slightly less large sword.
  7. The Swordfighter knows he is a human.
  8. Idono carries a gun but doesn’t know who he is due to amnesia.
  9. Dark Soul has multiple hit points and regains lost hit points for killing someone. However, any bit of his body counts as a torso hit, and his health depends on how he feels; today it is 4.
  10. Ace is a ¼ Dragon, ¼ Phoenix, ½ Human hybrid. The Dragon gives Ace wings, which he keeps hidden, and the ability to breathe within fire and to breath fire out as a weapon. The Phoenix allows Ace the power to come back to life, to change the size of his dragon wings and his height, and to ignite himself on fire. The Human gives Ace the appearance of a 14-year-old human, although he is 2,004 years old. Ace is damaged by ice, water and cold, and so avoids all three.
  11. Quark is not sure but thinks he might be a troll or a giant. He calls himself a Taller for he may not be bigger, but he is taller. Quark has 4 health points and can sit down to heal 1 health point every 2 seconds he remains sitting stationary. Quark carries a big shield and a big mace. He has excessive strength and can toss people around. In particular, he can throw his indestructible partner about as a weapon.
  12. Linz the Lizard can climb trees and smack people with his tail. He has healing saliva, but he neither licks nor spits but merely taps to heal. He is no chameleon, however, he can sit up in a tree and be invisible. He hides there and ambushes from above.
  13. The Observer has powers of observation.
  14. Some Guy showed up late.

The events of the day

The adventurers learned that Ace had infiltrated one of Lord Maul‘s armies and was going to steal one of their three power crystals. So they decided to run combat drills on the Mystical Isle until the battle with Lord Maul’s minions began.

They divided into teams. On one side was Idono, Sir Bulfrich, Quark, Linz the Lizard and the Swordfighter. On the other was Ace, King Maximillian, Dark Soul, and Snapple. The Observer’s observations were aided by the Demon, Norbeinhind, and No One.

Quark and Idono charged. The Swordfighter followed as well as Linz the Lizard. Dark Soul battled with The Swordfighter and Linz the Lizard. King Maximillian, Snapple, and Ace moved up to attack the other team’s base.

Sir Bulfrich used Overkill ruthlessly, so King Maximillian threatened to kill Overkill which distracted everyone with a discussion on whether Overkill could be killed. During these discussions, it was revealed that some felt it was unfair that Sir Bulfrich and Quark were on the same team. No One wasn’t paying attention. Being a brave soldier, Idono just walked casually past the argument and grabbed the flag and took it back to his own base.

New teams were chosen. Sir Bulfrich, Quark, Ace faced off against all the others. Dark Soul decided that the best strategy was a quick defeat and so rushed a tree to impale himself on a branch. Seeing his wisdom, Idono, King Maximillian, the Swordfighter, Snapple, and Linz the Lizard followed suit.

Quark then tossed Ace some distance so that Ace would not regenerate near Quark’s home base.

Some Guy showed up late, so they set up for another drill which was called off the heroes realized they needed to replenish their strength at the Faraway Leaf Inn before facing Lord Maul’s minions.

Lord Maul’s army had three power stones. When Ace returned from his reconnaissance mission with only the one, the adventurers decided they wanted to get all three. Quark and Snapple were tasked with guarding the power crystal that Ace had stolen.

As the other heroes laid their plans to capture the other 2 crystals, they were attacked in force by Lord Maul’s minions who wished to reclaim the stolen power crystal. Although mightier in number, the minions were smaller in height and thus were forced back with ease. The adventurers rushed to Lord Maul’s army’s base of operations where No One stole another power crystal and ran so fast he was nearly invisible.

Then the heroes attempted to steal the final crystal, but they were driven back as all of Lord Maul’s rather short troops had rallied to defend their stronghold.

The heroes regrouped and knowing that they must gain all three crystal to stop Lord Maul, they called upon Ra to assist them. Ra sent a blistering heat down upon the battlefield, and so Lord Maul’s regiment surrendered the final power crystal and fled back to their home dimensions.

Gathered on the Field of Destiny were the following brave souls:

• • Dark Soul has multiple hit points and killing someone gives him additional hit points if he’s lost any. However, any bit of his body counts as a torso hit. His health depends on how he feels, and today’s it’s only 2.
  • Death’s Apprentice can bring people back from the dead. He can also “life link” to others by merely tapping someone on the shoulder. This gives the “life linked” hero an additional health point every 4 seconds. As Death’s Apprentice, he himself has only 1 health point. If the “life linked” hero takes damage, Death’s Apprentice is sucked back into Hades and must recover there for 10 seconds before returning to Dragonwood. If Death’s Apprentice releases a “tormented soul” then everyone in the vicinity takes 1 damage. If he casts a “shade” then Death’s Apprentice can ignore all projectiles.
  • Dio, a vampire who can control time. When Dio yells out the magic words, “stop time” then time stops for up to 5 seconds. While time is stopped, Dio can feed off the blood of either corpses or willing living beings. Every two feedings, Dio gains an extra second of “stop time” power, with a cap of 10 seconds.
  • Discord from the planet Mercuron is hooked up to a server on the planet Mars, known as the Mars Matrix, which is really just Wikipedia under a different name.
  • Doctor Ivan Giggles, an engineer, turret maker, wall builder, warrior, and sentry who carries explosives. Watch out! He also owns a shield as well and armor but did not bring them today. It’s a little too hot today.
  • Eden Space, a Space Marine and human with super strength and an awesome arsenal. He has the same lab-modified blood that flows through the veins of Ace, Spade, and King.
  • The Inventor, an elf healer and tinkerer who can heal others with his touch. If the Inventor spends 5 seconds standing still or slowly walking, without making any attacks, he can transform a round of ammo that he is holding into an explosive round. If he spends 30 seconds under the same conditions holding a gun, the weapon becomes armor-piercing. Unfortunately, due to a demon’s curse, the Inventor cannot run.
  • The Juggernaut is otherwise known as King. He is a half-brother of Ace and Spade and was designed in the same laboratory that created them. He was designed to kill.
  • The Masked Man.
  • Shade, a de-ranked ice knight who has fallen out of rank because of his selfish actions. Any hit point he deals with his sword freezes the object rather than cutting. This freeze lasts 30 seconds. Shade has an ego and this causes him to react disproportionately and overestimate his own abilities.
  • Stealth, a tactical operator who likes tactics. He has five weapons on his shield, a pistol with a quick release and 4 rockets, plus a melee weapon and a Tactical Regular.
  • A sword fighter.
  • Four unknown entities who chose to remain unidentified.

The most honored and wise Storyteller stepped forward to reveal to the gathered heroes that there was another party, the Juggernaut, who was battling against Lord Maul and his minions in Maul Corp and that perhaps the heroes could bribe this third party to fight with them. The Juggernaut could be found at Lifeblood Castle at the center of the Mystical Isle.

Because the Juggernaut was so susceptible to bribes, Maul Corp was also seeking him out to bribe him to fight with them instead of against them. As time was of the essence, the adventurers knew they must act quickly to reach the Juggernaut first! The gathered heroes quickly charged off the Field of Destiny, past Decision Point, over the Somber Footbridge, and onto the Mystical Isle where they found the Juggernaut hanging out by a boat in the Lifeblood Castle’s moat.

The heroes offered honor, glory, and fellowship to the Juggernaut if he was to fight on their side. Then Maul Corp arrived and offered gold. The Juggernaut chose the gold and so Maul Corp succeeded in recruiting Juggernaut.

The Juggernaut was unstoppable and crushed everything in his path. He utterly destroyed the adventurer’s Eastern Point base on Mystical Isle.

Fortunately, this destruction caused the Juggernaut to overheat and he shed some of his armor, making him vulnerable to attack. He set out for Maul Corp’s West Point to rest. The adventurers rushed out of their ruins to attack the base. Without the Juggernaut’s destructive power to overcome, the heroes defeated Maul Corp soundly. Seeing how the winds were blowing, the Juggernaut then decided to join the heroes.

Discord, Shade, the sword fighter, and three of the unknown entities had already headed off to relax and celebrate their victory when the Masked Man revealed that there were traitors in their midst. These turncoats had placed bombs all over the Mystical Isle. Dark Soul, Death’s Apprentice, Dio, Doctor Ivan Giggles, Eden Space, the Juggernaut, Stealth, and the Masked Man needed to locate and defuse the bombs before they destroyed the Isle and all its magic. A hunt began and the remaining adventurers managed to defuse all of the bombs and kill all of those who had betrayed them. They then went to join their fellows at the Faraway Leaf Inn for strategizing and refreshments.